Canet week 2 + Thoughts on work
Catching up here on recent happenings post Zurich.
Everyone in my family or professional network who I speak with about the current state of my employment situation gives me a wide-eyed look and says “you gotta get out of there” or something to that effect. This was especially true talking to Tony this past weekend whose exasperation on my behalf cracked me up, but also prompted me to wonder if now is the time to really start mobilizing in a different direction.
By conventional norms of business and employment it’s true, that as an employee I am getting screwed, to put it bluntly. I won’t detail all of the associated travails here in case somehow this blog makes its way out of a small circle but in summary there is some serious instability in my current employment, which many of you are already aware of in intimate detail. On that note, thank you to everyone who has listened to me ponder over the last 1.5 years or so.
Despite this somewhat self-imposed existential distress, by my own invented norms and beliefs, I am still taking the steps I’ve perceived as necessary to achieve my goals of being an entrepreneur in the impact investing world. I’ve been abiding by the guiding philosophy that despite its shortcomings from a security and stability standpoint, this job is and has been a good education in what it means to build a mission driven, capital intensive business from the ground up, with no track record or seed financing. This aside, there are some major issues with being asked to put “sweat equity” i.e. unpaid labor in to building something that you don’t have actual equity in, but that aside, I still feel as though the experience I’m gaining is something that I couldn’t match by working for a large institution, corporation or nonprofit at this stage in my career.
As I’ve been working in the backend of our website, drafting corporate policies, managing relationships with legal counsel, prospective investors, capital partners, investees and portfolio companies, performing financial modeling, writing grant applications, managing interns and picking out office space, I try to keep in mind that most employment doesn’t involve the breadth and depth of exposure to the different responsibilities I’ve taken on through this role.
To one of Tony’s points though, there is value in working alongside and learning from people who already have built a system and put processes in place to be successful. Some of these things take a lifetime to understand and implement, and being in environments where they exist already allows one to learn faster and go further than they would trying to reinvent the wheel themselves. That’s one of the things I miss from my old role with Shift — sitting 3 feet away from a 37+ year veteran of the real estate world with a deep, nuanced view on social impact and economic development, who was filling my brain with know how and inspiration on a daily basis. My work now is much more self determined and self motivated, and I certainly hold more responsibility than I ever have.
A few metaphors come to mind — I took a big bite and am figuring out how to chew it. I got thrown in the pool and now I have to figure out how to swim. I left golden state as a role player to join the pelicans as a starter and now I have to guard Kevin Durant!
I would love the opportunity to play against KD, that’s the best way to get better, and I don’t want to go back to playing a prescribed role on a deeper team, but it’s hard to play the game well and be your own coach at the same time. I know I could use more professional mentorship and guidance as I progress down this path and work to become the strongest version of myself professionally. My family and friends have been hugely supportive as I’ve been working through these things, and relying on my circle of support has really aided my ability to come back to focusing on what I have, rather than what I don’t -- which is namely the support, love, privilege and opportunity to take risk at this point in my life.
The uncertainty that comes with risk can be exhausting and destabilizing, so in addition to seeking mentorship, I know I also need to build mental and emotional habits that will enable me to continue to have a rich life experience. I'm learning after a few chapters of committing myself in major and maybe even precarious ways to passion projects in my life and career so far, that a rich life is a balanced life, that the work will always take as much from you as you can give, and it will also always be there when you come back.
A last note on future direction, despite the instability, it feels incredibly meaningful to commit my time and labor in service of racial equity work through the lens of impact investing in the US. This will always be important to me, and as we are seeing the mounting tolls incurred through climate catastrophes which are increasing in frequency and severity globally, I feel very driven to focus on incorporating a climate focus in to my future work in impact finance as well.
Enough musing!
It's been a nice week in Canet. The weather is starting to cool down here and my goal of getting in the water every day is starting to feel more daunting. My new friend Helen, a fellow traveler who I met at the ultimate tournament in Castelldefels came out to visit on Monday! Helen is a dentist, baker and ultimate player based in San Francisco where she just finished residency and is getting ready to jump headfirst in to practicing dentistry. We had a great time beach chilling and trying out some restaurants both in Canet and in Barcelona.
Highlights from eating included
Dinner at Hostalet de Canet (https://hostaletdecanet.com/) featuring:
- More tuna tartare
- Braised oxtail with brie and fig jam
- Musclos a la brassa (large mussels)
- Small mussels
- Monkfish croquetas -- fried balls of fish and dough, almost like a hushpuppy in the US
- Shrimp carpaccio -- pounded and very thinly spread sheet of shrimp with sauce and fish eggs on top
- Braised pork short rib with kimchi
- Eggplant + mint sushi
- Tuna sashimi
- Oysters steamed in sake
- Mentai (kind of like a miso flavor) spaghetti
- Oolong tea
Helen also treated me to some artisinal handmade mochi from Barcelona flavored; matcha, tiramisu, mango and rose + strawberry from Niji Mochi (https://niji.es/en/).
Helen is wonderful company and a great conversationalist, who reminded me that question asking is an art and taught me that asking to pet people's dogs is a great way to make friends in a new country. Thanks for coming to visit!
^ Helen!
The last couple of evenings have been relaxed, I took myself to Barcelona proper last night to explore town a bit more, and wandered in to a salsa bar where I met a few fellow travelers. For some reason I've always been nervous to go to a bar or club by myself but turns out, the only person who might care that you're there alone is you.
I caught a bus (the N82) from Barca back to Canet which I thought might be a no-go for a moment because I didn't have exact change in euros (I've paid with everything so far with card or my phone), but a kind stranger offered to cover the $.30 I was missing in fare and I made it back unscathed.
Tonight I will chill, relax and get some work done. Tomorrow I will wake up early to meet Kaitlin and Larry who are taking an overnight bus from France to Barcelona to come hang out with me in Canet for 10 days! Tomorrow also marks the first "official" day of vacation! Hoping to explore a bit more of Barcelona, the country-side, and maybe some other towns or cities.
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